We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
