Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
