these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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