Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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