i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
