as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
