i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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