does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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