would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize