my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
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