I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize