If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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