I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
