apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So here I am, sexting at work.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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