I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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