I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
