i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
