Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
