hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
