Christians are straight up FREAKS
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
