NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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