Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
