the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
