Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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