Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
