I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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