i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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