I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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