He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
