I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize