I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
