the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
