He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
