is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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