I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Someone came in the potted fern
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
