dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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