About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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