His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
