According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
