Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
