Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
