I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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