I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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