i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize