those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
