you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
