I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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