We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
