we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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