Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
