he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
