Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
