I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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