Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
