So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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