Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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