now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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